'Von Igelfeld gave the dog a push. The wheel refused to go round, so that the dog turned in circles as it paddled with its remaining leg. It needed oiling.'

ride comes before a fall - but Professor Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld, author of Portuguese Irregular Verbs and pillar of the Institute of Romance Philology in the Bavarian city of Regensburg, always knows best. How difficult can it be to scale a mountain or deliver an after-dinner talk to rowdy businessmen? More irksome are the undeserved rise of his rival (and owner of a one-legged dachshund) Unterholzer, and his colleagues' condescension over his unmarried state. So when a matchmaking friend produces an heiress with her own Schloss, finally it appears the professor's true worth will be recognised.