Monty

'It's all over, Von Arnheim has surrendered and he's very angry.' 'This could mean war . . . ' The third volume of Spike Milligan's laugh-a-line account of life as a gunner in World War Two resumes on the eve of victory in North Africa. Now Britain's looniest war hero must combat some of the direst threats a soldier has ever faced - boredom ('Christ, I just thought of Catford'), a cold ('In this weather?' 'Yed.'), moving camp ('It's a sort of Brighton with camels'), relaxing on the beach ('Life was golden, and we were the assayers'), moving camp again ('We're already somewhere else'), a visit to Carthage ('It's terrible, it's like Catford') and a perilous encounter with the gloriously endowed Mademoiselle Villion (''Help! massage,' I said weakly'). Against the odds, they survive and are sent at last to Italy to be killed . . .